Today, I have been weaker than usual.
For most people who know me, they would understand why.
I anticipated the roller-coaster of emotions, maybe I knew myself well. Even if I prepared for it, even if I mustered all my energy, even if I went out of town last week to re-charge, even if I wore my best steel armor, I still wasn't able to escape the weight this day would cause my entire being. Up to the innermost part of my soul. It was like going to a trip back on memory-lane, but this time, it comes automatically -- as if on my system, fighting its way into my mind, repeating over and over again.
Eh ganun talaga.
There are just some things that I know I couldn't just brush off. Somethings that I need to absorb, let it be, and then let it go. I know myself well, and I know I have the right to be in pain, to feel every bit of needle that stick inside my heart, because I know that only through all these that I will be able to heal completely. Feel the pain and then let go -- Bo Sanchez was brilliant when he said those words.
I was just glad that I have my dear friends with me who know, from the core of their hearts, how much I was feeling. They gave me a million hugs today, and their eyes spoke of so much love.
And above all these, the universe never ceases to amaze me on its own rules.
I was having my usual comfort coffee with my most loved people on earth, and I was amazed because in the middle of it all, I found myself laughing my heart out. And then I smiled secretly, because I knew how much heavens wanted to tell me that in the midst of all these, soon, I will find my way.
I didn't get any stars today.
It was too rainy.
Maybe tomorrow.
The clock hits midnight. At last, the day is over.
For most people who know me, they would understand why.
I anticipated the roller-coaster of emotions, maybe I knew myself well. Even if I prepared for it, even if I mustered all my energy, even if I went out of town last week to re-charge, even if I wore my best steel armor, I still wasn't able to escape the weight this day would cause my entire being. Up to the innermost part of my soul. It was like going to a trip back on memory-lane, but this time, it comes automatically -- as if on my system, fighting its way into my mind, repeating over and over again.
Eh ganun talaga.
There are just some things that I know I couldn't just brush off. Somethings that I need to absorb, let it be, and then let it go. I know myself well, and I know I have the right to be in pain, to feel every bit of needle that stick inside my heart, because I know that only through all these that I will be able to heal completely. Feel the pain and then let go -- Bo Sanchez was brilliant when he said those words.
I was just glad that I have my dear friends with me who know, from the core of their hearts, how much I was feeling. They gave me a million hugs today, and their eyes spoke of so much love.
And above all these, the universe never ceases to amaze me on its own rules.
I was having my usual comfort coffee with my most loved people on earth, and I was amazed because in the middle of it all, I found myself laughing my heart out. And then I smiled secretly, because I knew how much heavens wanted to tell me that in the midst of all these, soon, I will find my way.
I didn't get any stars today.
It was too rainy.
Maybe tomorrow.
The clock hits midnight. At last, the day is over.
No comments:
Post a Comment