comfort zone

I don't know if it's just me, but I always find myself creating psuedo-comfort zones.
Maybe, it's my way of being sane, of keeping up in this crazy-world, and reminding myself that no matter what, i will not be forsaken and everythings's going to be ok.

It's a blessing, that in the two places I've been, I was able to meet good people who I could call as friends. People who I never even met when I was back home. Some already left before I even came to globe, and some worked for the other operator. Funny because at this point, some things just don't matter anymore -- age, generation gaps, work groups.. the only thing that matter is that all of us know that we are doing great sacrifices for our own reasons. And each other's company becomes a good reminder that all of these are in passing, and in the end, we will all be back home.

It's surprising, and at a point, amazing, how we all could adapt to each other's differences. And somehow, I came to realize that at the end of the day, what matters most is how much you shared with each other. Maybe it's true, that when you receive so much blessings, nothing is more wonderful that to share it with others. Because I've witnessed it with my own eyes. I am amazed everytime I see these people extend a hand for someone else's. And as I've always said, nothing is more rewarding than paying forward the goodness.

It's more than a month, and I know, like everything else, my time in Rio will have to be enough. But for this limited time, I knew I learned a lot. I was able to grow more, appreciate life more, live one day at a time, increase my faith and learned to savor every moment of each passing day.

I will not get tired of thanking heavens for the wonderful blessings. Life might be complicated at times, but it is beautiful.

holy week reflections

Jesus was traded for thirty pieces of silver

During those times, Judas might have done a good job defending his conscience, thinking of all the reasons and excuses for that thirty pieces of silver. And soon, he paid the price he never imagined. Everlasting suffering and pain.

It made me think and reflect, how I became, and how I am judas in so many ways -- on different scenarios, different perspectives. I knew in my heart, that I have compromised my believe in some ways or another -- for the mere reasons that this crazy world has defined. I made up excuses to justify the wrongs, made my own versions of the truth, just to go with the rapid flow of life, and not be left behind.

I knew, at some point, I have lost touch. It hurts me to think , and it is so shameful, that I am hurting my God. And during this point, when I know that I was forced to put up a thick armor for survival, I lost the tenderness of my soul. I was swallowed by the pretensions of bravery, that I forgot how Jesus must have loved my fragile heart. I have been praying, but I realized that I never had the chance of listening to what He might have been saying. I was so absorbed thinking of my daily routines for survival, that there were times I almost forgot the wonderful assurance He has given me.

I was too focused on the little things, and I almost forgot that all of these are useless, worthless and nonsense, if my soul thirsts of its food. I was paying so much attention to the details, forgetting that the whole picture matters more.But that's what makes me human.

And for me, the acknowledgment that I am a sinner, makes me strive more for His love and acceptance. I am humbled when I begin to realize Jesus' unfailing love for me. I have been too impatient with so many things, and it is just shameful how little things would make me lose my temper. I could not imagine if God has been impatient with me too.. and I cringe by just the thought of it.

God has been, and will always be good to me. Even if there are countless times of sinning, hurting, failing and not keeping my promises, He has never let me go. He has never kept a record of wrongs, and never did He forget to shower me with peace and love each day. He has given me enough chances to prove my worth, and He never gets tired of waiting. And so I am thinking, with the humblest heart -- how could I even afford to worry? For just a single moment, for just a second? I could imagine Jesus doing His usual sad shrug, looking down at me pitifuly and lovingly, everytime I get absorbed with all the worries. Besides, He has done enough assurance in my life already, so what's more to worry about?As always, Jesus will remain my source of strenght.

And this holy week, I will listen more, worry less, give more and love much

My Miss-List

Absence, as they say, makes the heart fonder. And yes, this is one of those moments that I am missing everything and everyone..
Here are the simple and the not-so-simple thoughts around my head. My random thoughts. On a sunny tuesday afternoon. Between the frequency plan and the neighbor list of sites in Rio de Janeiro, I am managing to have this little blog window, just to put everything into writing.

I miss --
a. Sinigang and adobo
b. The swedish massage at The Spa town center
c. Foot peds at fix town
d. wave 89.1
e. Shiek zayed road
f. Jumeirah beach road, the signals, the mosque, and those yellow flowers
g. My room, my own pink blanket, and the sound of electricfan on the wall
h. yosi breaks at 5th with kuya's iced tea/milo or 3 in 1 coffee
i. the sound of ate/kuya guard's voice every time alfalfa passess by
j. laugh trips with mark lee and jm
k. coffee moments with eaian
l. lunch time with my usual lunch mates
m. going to mass every wednesday
n. bananaque at 4pm
o. yaris rides with jaya's is it over on the background
p. tony's voice on my right ear, patiently saying the directions
q. presence of dubai police. (amazing just how people starts to behave well!)
r. long phone calls with princess
s. chikka grill and everything on it
t. Going to sunday mass with jov, badot, len, apple, zel (and heids, sometimes)
u. ASAP and all those teleseryes
v. bus rides with heidi
w. amazing conversations with jov
x. anne and inay's dynamic duo
y. having this inexplainable feeling of relief everytime GreenStar comes at the terminal
z. Starbucks. Starbucks. Starbucks. And having my most favorite people around.

and the list goes on and on and on.

And from the list, there are some things that I can re-do, and there are also those things that will probably remain on my "miss-list" for the rest of my life.