3 weeks

It's a good Saturday in Rio. Jaja and I just arrived home, after the usual laundry day at Barra Bella. I sit here, in the usual spot, overlooking rio's beauty, with the sun opening its rays over the cariocas, and the birds keep on dancing with their carefree trance.

Maybe, the time has come. New doors are opening, people are moving forward, and I can feel the changes through my bones.

I came here february, and people started coming too. It was as if Brazil has opened up its doors to people like us -- peope who are looking for better chances, people who have different yet the same reasons for going out abroad and riding the big waves of risk-taking.

I made friends, and I know that I will forever be thankful that God did not leave me a single minute in this crazy world.

I was able to meet most of my dearest friends too. Who would have ever thought that the conversations at the 5th floor canteen became reality? Our dream of meeting each other in Brazil was once a far a way dream -- up to the point that we thought it might be hopeless, since the world is supposed to be big. But heavens heard our prayers, and even if we are not in the same city now, we were given the means of meeting up each other to exchange long overdue stories.

I might have succeeded in adapting to this new city, embracing slowly the comforts it offer. I cling on to the core of my being, constantly reminding myself that even if I am a day behind from the place I called home, I know I can survive.

My stay in this big city will have to end soon -- at least for now. I know that I need to go back, to get strength again, to re-charge and to take a little rest. Anyway, my leaving has long been overdue.

Three weeks left for me, and I can't help but anticipate and hold my breath to the little surprises that may come. Jaja will be leaving tomorrow for Brasilia, one thing I never pre-empted a few months back. The rest of the usual main-stays in Rio are out for field, and the uncertainty of seeing them before I leave is reality. But just as I always say, life will always be like that. It gives you surprises, and at some point it will shake a little of your senses. But at the end of the day, I know that all will be well. I may not be able to say goodbye to them personally, but I hope that they are all so dear to me. Besides, they kept me sane. We kept each other sane.

And now, as I drink the last sip of my coffee, I feel rio's warmth and tenderness.

I smile, even if I know that there will be changes, I am certain that everyone of us will be fine. And soon, someday, we will all meet again.

Brazil: Photoblog Number One

I've always enjoyed looking at beautiful pictures, and I am amazed by how the photographer captures the stories in still shots.And so, I've been wanting to do this for the longest time -- a photoblog.Captured moments by Jaja, and joy plays with her mind.Here goes. Part one.

Maybe this is what growing old together means. Having many chances to share ice cream with each other.
Brazilians having their own private times. With these trees towering above them. And the silver-blue sky remains their witness
Natural light brings out your true color. Authentic.

This signage did not escape Jaja's eyes. It is too precious to let it pass.
Looking at sugar loaf from ground level. Funny how in such little time, you can go up there and look down at Rio. Different perspective. Different experiences.

At some point, sunset and sunrise are the same. The light hides behind darkness. Or maybe its the other way around. But in the end, only one of them prevails.
People are smart. They invented psuedo-lights, when the real one is hiding.
You drink slowly if you know it's not refillable. Just like life. When you don't have too many chances, you savor each day -- until it last.
A chair. It would have been better if there are two.
Lemons are nice. They balance the bitterness.

Their own version of refuge. Flying kites.

Everyone of us needs someone to pull us up. In whatever terms.
Amazing how simple things could make someone happy
How many times have you wished to turn back time and be a child again? I always do. I just can't.
Shelter. Sometimes, we fail to recognize how important it is

Strawberries on chocolate, chocolate on strawberries. Whichever way, they go perfectly together .
The view from the top, is always spectacular
In between greens, this guy must have been looking for something. He's running out of time.
Edge of the world. Thousand miles away.
His arms -- stretching out -- wide open.

Once a Dream -- Now a Reality :)

How will I ever forget, those times when everyone of us were saying that someday, we will see each other in Brazil. Perhaps it is true, that when you want something so badly, the universe conspires for you to achieve it! Good thing we had synched prayers, and we maybe we all prayed with conviction!

Last weekend was a dream come true. It is an amazing fact, something that until now makes me smile when I remember. We are here, in Brasil!! It might have been better if EVERYONE of us are here, but well, we can't have both worlds. This is good enough for me, at least most of us were able to see each other -- in Brasil! :)
Who would ever thought that this is possible? -- Me!!! ;)

>Oo, kami talaga to :) <
>New place, old friends<
>2308.2!!!<
>Catching up with lost times<
>Savoring moments<
>Parang 5th floor lang no?:)<
>in Ditz apartment, while waiting for sinigang;) <
>Soul sister ;) <

>Jaja and Jm ;)<
> Having lunch together again! <
>One big happy family! Sabeee<
>A love story. :p <
:)

>Rio De Janeiro, Hardrock<
>Shopping si betchay! hehehe<
> at last! <
>kahet umuulan, picture pa din y not<
>Going to laguna?? Ay hindi pala..going to Downtown :)<

Having seen all of them again, is a superb feeling. It brought back so many memories, it was like going back to the Globe days, where we can talk about anything or everything under the sun. And as we all venture into this bigger world, I just wish all of us, all the blessings in the world. Sky's the limit! See you soon again, my dearest friends :)

Where is Home?

Over nice coffee conversations, me and my usual coffee mates shared a story about a malaysian guy who went back to his own country for vacation. But, when he came back to his work assignment (which was somewhere in africa I think), he was more than glad. For him, his home country wasn't his "home". It was where his current assignment is, thousand miles away from his own birthplace.

And it kept me a little on amazement -- that people could really be different in reference to home.



Where is home anyway?

Is it where you grew up?

Or is it where you shared your grown self to the people around you?

Is it where you have found your comfort zone, or is it where you were able to succeed in creating your own version of comfort?

Where is home for me?
And here, I am spilling my mind.
****************************************************************************
I couldn't deny the fact that for the longest time that I have been out, I had a desperate attempt in "creating" my own version of home. For the sole reason of keeping me sane. I have always been a "comfort zone" person, and I seek for people, for things, for events, that could somehow connect me to the place that I grew up with.
Both the two places I've been to, have succeeded in adapting me into the comforts of its own fences. Though at times, I still feel alienated and different from most people, I have learned, through time, the basic tools for survival. Maybe it helped that I knew myself better, and that I know how and what I need to stay steady and keep my sanity. But at the end of the day, I know that all things boil down to one simple fact -- that, this is not my home.

Home is where I feel safest. It is where I hear the infectious laughter of my beautiful cousin angel, rummaging about little things and asking the funniest questions. Home is where I wake up and finding my cold milo on the table, that has been sitting there for hours. Home is where, during sundays, mommy would cook the most delicious sinigang, and my friends inviting themselves over for a nice lunch over coke and asap. Home is where I could share comfortable silence with anyone, without much effort on what to say. Home is where I see myself dreaming endlessly, and even if I am thousand miles away, my dreams travel the distance.


Having said all these, it doesn't necessarily mean that I am not having the time of my life away from home. I am. And I know that when the final time comes that I would be packing up my luggage, I am certain that I will be coming home with full smiles, knowing that I was able to explore a thousand different events, looked at the sky from a different perspective, heard the waves from a different point of reference.
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Ah, I might have drank a little too much caffeine, or perhaps, I am just a little overwhelmed with the things that's been happening around me. The uncertainties, the surprises, the tests. Yesterday, someone went back home. Soon, one by one, all of us will have to leave this place. And who knows when and where we will see each other again... the finish line? Maybe.

But I am certain, that all of us will find our way back home. Sooner or later. We will.

Random thoughts on a friday afternoon

Life knows how maintain its balance.
Anything that is too much is dangerous.

I have realized, that in this world of sheer independence and taking chances, you will most of the time surprise yourself on how far can you go. On how strong you can become.
Things that you thought have been difficult for you, become easy, and suddenly, you'll realize that life,in itself, could be easier.

But, just like everything else, you have to be on guard.
Having the different amount of strength in your heart, you'd have to be careful not to lose its tenderness.
You become strong, but you shouldn't become dense.
You jump every river, cross every bridge, but the important thing is you'd have to embrace every experience it offers. Life is a fleeting chance, but the journey matters more.
You know that like almost everything else, this too shall pass, and the first instinct is to get detached.
But, with the detachment, you lose life's meaning. And as I see it, no human heart deserves that unfairness. Everyone of us deserves to be happy, on whatever terms, no matter how small or how big. Our heart deserves to witness, to savor, to feel. Not just to see things as they are, but to experience them.

In this world, it is imporant to stay grounded. Life offers a lot of new challenges and surprises, but at the end of the day, what matters most is how much you embraced life, how much you let the good things in and the bullshits out.

Contractor's world

When I left globe, I had to admit that I didn't expect the world to be so big. Well, I knew that life would be different, but I didn't realize that I would be discovering and looking at things from different perspectives.

Maybe the cliche' holds true, that you'll never really know when you get there.
Venturing in this contractor's world -- as I would like to call it -- has made me realize that some things are different now, and the things that are not important in the past seem to be the ingredients for survival.


TRUST.
You take the risk of going out of your country, even if you don't know what awaits you on "that" other place. From the tickets, to the visa, to the immigration issues -- you never "see" the whole process, everything is just taking part on the virtual world, but you still find yourself packing that luggage, thinking that everything will be ok. And even if you've never met the people who arranges everything for you, you trust them. You trust heavens that you will not be forsaken. You trust yourself that you have made the right decision.

FAITH
Leaving your stable job is a big risk. And, it is a leap of faith. The future might seem bleak, but you have enough faith in your heart to take that first scary step. One day at a time, one step each day. Sometimes, things doesn't end up like you've imagined, people you meet aren't so friendly, and there are moments that you find yourself stuck in the same old bullshits over and over again. For a second, you doubt if this might have been the right path for you, if you have listened well to what the world has been telling you. But then again, at the end of the day, you faithfully close your eyes and believe, that things will fall into place. You are faithful, that you will not be forsaken.

CERTAINTY.
Suddenly, things have been unpredictable. In this world, you only know one certain thing. That, everything is a fleeting chance. So, it is a choice between wasting your time or making the most out of it. In the past, you thought that you can determine your plans, at least the short term ones. But, the moment you witnessed how fast and uncertain things could be in this project-based-crazy-world, you stop making plans. Though you still have a clear picture in your head about that "finish line", the road going there seems to appear with a lot of different circumstances. And even if you know that you have to traverse that path, there is no certainty on the things you will encounter along the way. It is not a predetermined road, where the cracks, the holes and the humps are laid down in a concrete layout. But you know that it is the only road to get there, and no matter how difficult it would be, no matter how many times you might get tripped, you know that you will reach the end.

ADAPT.
No matter how much you say that nothing would change, you know something will. And at some point, you have to admit that yes, you have changed. Or maybe, you have just learned to adapt to your new environment. Perhaps, adapting is one way of coping and staying sane. Your greatest enemy is the distance, and your greatest armor is to create psuedo-homes--at your best effort. You meet people, different kinds of them, and you know that all of you know that you are on your psuedo-worlds, holding on to each other for support, and that soon, all these sacrifices will be brought back to where your heart truly is. Finish line might not be too soon, and for now, all you need to do is to survive each day, alive.



In this world of contractors venturing out in this big world, I have learned to appreciate the littlest things that heavens give me. This is independence and survival roled into one. Even if you thought that you are the weakest person alive, you'll be amazed by how far you can go. This is a test of strength, perspectives and beliefs.
And yes, this is a leap of faith.

Visiting Rio's orphans

I have always loved kids.

Their eyes speak of nothing but innocense ang purity.

But with world's cruel reality, some of these eyes are being stained by pain and heartaches.

When kuya jonelle told us that they are visiting the orphanage in Rio, I gladly volunteered to join. And then there, I saw them. Those beautiful kids, wearing innocent smiles, but having meaningful eyes.
My mind drifted to the time when I visited Gawad Kalinga. And so I realized, that there are some things that are inevitable in this world. Poverty, heartaches, pain. And it's a sad reality, that even if I am at the other side of the world, the situation for these kids are the same. These are the kids that were left by their parents, for the reasons only God knows.

Still, it is amazing too, that God send out angels to help them.

Here are the pictures of this priceless moment. Enjoy and be blessed :)

all pictures courtesy of jaja, of course :)