Contractor's world

When I left globe, I had to admit that I didn't expect the world to be so big. Well, I knew that life would be different, but I didn't realize that I would be discovering and looking at things from different perspectives.

Maybe the cliche' holds true, that you'll never really know when you get there.
Venturing in this contractor's world -- as I would like to call it -- has made me realize that some things are different now, and the things that are not important in the past seem to be the ingredients for survival.


TRUST.
You take the risk of going out of your country, even if you don't know what awaits you on "that" other place. From the tickets, to the visa, to the immigration issues -- you never "see" the whole process, everything is just taking part on the virtual world, but you still find yourself packing that luggage, thinking that everything will be ok. And even if you've never met the people who arranges everything for you, you trust them. You trust heavens that you will not be forsaken. You trust yourself that you have made the right decision.

FAITH
Leaving your stable job is a big risk. And, it is a leap of faith. The future might seem bleak, but you have enough faith in your heart to take that first scary step. One day at a time, one step each day. Sometimes, things doesn't end up like you've imagined, people you meet aren't so friendly, and there are moments that you find yourself stuck in the same old bullshits over and over again. For a second, you doubt if this might have been the right path for you, if you have listened well to what the world has been telling you. But then again, at the end of the day, you faithfully close your eyes and believe, that things will fall into place. You are faithful, that you will not be forsaken.

CERTAINTY.
Suddenly, things have been unpredictable. In this world, you only know one certain thing. That, everything is a fleeting chance. So, it is a choice between wasting your time or making the most out of it. In the past, you thought that you can determine your plans, at least the short term ones. But, the moment you witnessed how fast and uncertain things could be in this project-based-crazy-world, you stop making plans. Though you still have a clear picture in your head about that "finish line", the road going there seems to appear with a lot of different circumstances. And even if you know that you have to traverse that path, there is no certainty on the things you will encounter along the way. It is not a predetermined road, where the cracks, the holes and the humps are laid down in a concrete layout. But you know that it is the only road to get there, and no matter how difficult it would be, no matter how many times you might get tripped, you know that you will reach the end.

ADAPT.
No matter how much you say that nothing would change, you know something will. And at some point, you have to admit that yes, you have changed. Or maybe, you have just learned to adapt to your new environment. Perhaps, adapting is one way of coping and staying sane. Your greatest enemy is the distance, and your greatest armor is to create psuedo-homes--at your best effort. You meet people, different kinds of them, and you know that all of you know that you are on your psuedo-worlds, holding on to each other for support, and that soon, all these sacrifices will be brought back to where your heart truly is. Finish line might not be too soon, and for now, all you need to do is to survive each day, alive.



In this world of contractors venturing out in this big world, I have learned to appreciate the littlest things that heavens give me. This is independence and survival roled into one. Even if you thought that you are the weakest person alive, you'll be amazed by how far you can go. This is a test of strength, perspectives and beliefs.
And yes, this is a leap of faith.